Ken Rogerson's mother
A memory of my mother, Louise Lawrence Rogerson
Ken Rogerson, May 2020
When I was about 14 years old (pre-internet, pre-cell phone, pre-GPS, etc. etc.) I had an older friend who could drive. One summer night, we were out – driving around, getting ice cream (maybe or maybe not toilet papering someone’s home) and just having a good time. It was 1 am. I didn’t have a curfew, but I was NEVER out this late without agreeing with my parent’s beforehand that I would be. I hadn’t done this. I thought, “No big deal. I’m safe. Mark is a good driver. All will be fine.” And it was.
I got home just before 3 am. I tiptoed into the house hoping to slip into my bedroom unnoticed. My mom was sitting in the living room. I thought my life was over. I thought she would be angry. I thought I would be grounded. But she just stood up, kissed me on the forehead and said, “I’m so happy you are home and safe.” Then she went to bed.
The next day, my father was a bit angrier than my mom. During our discussion about the consequences of (punishment for) my very late arrival, he told me that mom was not able to sleep unless all her children were home safely. I didn’t know that. Even those times when we agreed I could be out late, she was in bed but just didn’t sleep until we were all home. For my mom, love was more important than anger. She could have felt both, of course, but love always seemed to win out. I wanted to take that approach with my own children. I was never half as successful at it as she was, but I hope some of that example rubbed off.
Ken Rogerson, May 2020
When I was about 14 years old (pre-internet, pre-cell phone, pre-GPS, etc. etc.) I had an older friend who could drive. One summer night, we were out – driving around, getting ice cream (maybe or maybe not toilet papering someone’s home) and just having a good time. It was 1 am. I didn’t have a curfew, but I was NEVER out this late without agreeing with my parent’s beforehand that I would be. I hadn’t done this. I thought, “No big deal. I’m safe. Mark is a good driver. All will be fine.” And it was.
I got home just before 3 am. I tiptoed into the house hoping to slip into my bedroom unnoticed. My mom was sitting in the living room. I thought my life was over. I thought she would be angry. I thought I would be grounded. But she just stood up, kissed me on the forehead and said, “I’m so happy you are home and safe.” Then she went to bed.
The next day, my father was a bit angrier than my mom. During our discussion about the consequences of (punishment for) my very late arrival, he told me that mom was not able to sleep unless all her children were home safely. I didn’t know that. Even those times when we agreed I could be out late, she was in bed but just didn’t sleep until we were all home. For my mom, love was more important than anger. She could have felt both, of course, but love always seemed to win out. I wanted to take that approach with my own children. I was never half as successful at it as she was, but I hope some of that example rubbed off.
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